An INTP looking for pointers in a partnership

I am an INTP and then he was an ENTJ.

I won’t enter the longer and dull facts, but pretty briefly.

to themselves had been in fact a relationship not too long ago – in essence claiming anything I’ve been wishing your to acknowledge for the past month or two (cared about myself over he noticed, actually have powerful ideas, don’t just see me personally as a pal with value, made him delighted, etc.) after preventing the discussion so far as dancing whenever I got communicated that I’d produced ideas and necessary factors to shift. He furthermore went through a laundry listing of concerns in terms of overall opportunities, which (wow) he previously considered to a how to use her crazy degree – from insufficient having the ability to found really with rich men being capable have fun with the personal game (I generally try not to care how rest see me personally and pay little focus on social dynamics), to how I construct my personal house, to financial issues, to questions relating to virility dilemmas.

I happened to be finding your way through emotional tragedy back at my conclusion, but alternatively I managed to get something more complicated.

He’s got come trying to free himself of some terrible habits to get further in the career and lifestyle objectives for a while. Because he has got perhaps not “really” already been single for longer than short times since becoming a teen and is about 40, and the most of his affairs currently regretted or bad/stayed set for way too long, the guy would like to be single and not seek to day or sleep with any person for per year in order to work with these needs (like me personally). But the guy asserted that basically desired to manage “my products” on the the coming year aswell – especially caring about familiarizing me with personal tissues and dynamics/presenting better (the guy wants someone which will help him progress in personal sectors) – the chance can there be.

I’m sort of floored. Regarding one conclusion, we recognize this kind of dull interaction suggests that he does treasure me personally tremendously and would really like the partnership to continue (with these caveats), we understood about his commitment issues and is easy to understand he need a break to correct his problems, I became not really cooked for social-climbing caveat. He’d spoken about this prior to, how their perfect are a partner that can assist your move up and browse this arena, but i did not see it had been this standard of a great deal breaker (“love isn’t really sufficient”). Just how he discussed it actually was very rational and I also moved from getting upset to get they to some extent fairly and witnessing diagrams in my mind with regards to “playing the video game”. I had never ever regarded as “being a secured item in somebody’s job” as a relationship qualification, when I are a latecomer to college and still concentrating on my personal B.S. – merely barely deciding on “real” career programs, but his information was appropriate often times when my personal impulse was to become confrontational regarding dilemmas within my perform (cannot/suck it), he’s got most experience with this place. There’s some huge difference right here because while we confess and was implementing tolerating folks along these lines (people who speak about little and oppose themselves, but I have the standing to be able to achieve this without genuine consequence) for base causes, today I really don’t think my personal purpose will need working with these folks often/beyond tolerating all of them – I would personally end up being mostly coping with men creating technology immediately, those who build the things “individuals who make a difference” (his statement) talk about. I am ok with getting those types of people, they are not. While I am able to find out how this socializing ability will be essential in his job, i am going to (cringe) really have to think of how it would play in to the future of mine and if it might be of benefit to take into account (I am not going to endeavor anything because of planning to become with your – it should has value for me too).